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The jackass-of-all-trades
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3rd-Mar-2008 05:40 pm - lolcorn
DT Ling Ling Panties
The Prize Patrol stopped over at lelumama's house earlier and notified her that she won the Internets:

From buyolympia.com:

Product ImageSarah Utter
Reading is Sexy
100% Corn Mug

We've been wanting to make mugs for a long time, but none really did it for us until we came across these beauties.

They are made from 100% biodegradable corn plastic, grown and manufactured in the US. The inks used are lead free.

Stop getting a paper-cup every morning and instead use this environmentally friendly alternative; it breaks down naturally in composting and is microwave safe.

And because it's corn-plastic, you can drop it on the ground and not worry about breaking it.

Price: $12.00
Ounces: 10.5
Estimated Time To Ship: 1 day


We recommend hand-washing only to let the mugs keep their luster.

Christ on a low-sodium Ritz® cracker! A cup made out of corn. You can't eat it (pure assumption...) but it's environmentally friendly. Also, your children won't be exposed to evil lead poisoning found in inks used in unregulated manufacturing processes abroad.

Corn. Heh.
ETC Rat Be Nimble

President George W. Bush just announced this on his weekly radio address. Then again, he announces said statement every week. Do people honestly not tire of this unending propaganda? It's been six years, five months, and twelve days that we've been hearing this. Certainly it's not only the terrorists that have been plotting those days. Enough with the scare tactics.
5th-Feb-2008 12:13 pm - Super Fat Tuesday!
ATHF Clockwork
2008 Primary Election Receipt

The Top 3 Reasons Why You Must Vote Today

1. We have intelligence that suggests that... Hitler is plotting... with, with the Legion of Doom... to assassinate Jesus!
2. Darth Vader is buying yellow cake uranium from unwed teenage mothers!
1st-Feb-2008 08:22 am - Snow noes!
ETC Rat Be Nimble
I am questioning my faith in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He has provided us with a splendid snowfall measuring 6" - 10" (15 - 25 cm) and the landscape looks clean and pure like His enduring love. With His children gracefully carrying upon their daily life of glory and worship, I am saddened for the degenerates that may have maliciously infiltrated the embrace of salvation.

This shaky foundation was the result of a news report this morning that spoke of such blasphemy. Said testimony divulged that Our Lady of the Snows has been closed due to the weather. Sacrilege! This profane statement shows the utmost irreverence to God.

I shall pray for all those immoral reprobates.
28th-Jan-2008 05:53 am - Whiny, Girls Reunited...
DT Ling Ling Drums
The Spice Girls got back together to relive their gloryhole days from the '90s. Not wanting to miss on the no-assembly-required action, it's being stated that the New Kids on the Block are reuniting.

Where's that meteor?
2nd-Oct-2007 09:53 am - Daily iCoffee
ETC Rat Be Nimble

One free song is being offered daily through November 7th, which amounts to 37 free songs. Of course, one has to have Apple's iTunes to download the free music. This would naturally be a tie-in with the new iPhone's wifi capabilities of downloading music from the iTunes Store in Starbucks nationwide. The rollout will begin today in New York and Seattle and eventually spread across the States.

The promotional song for the first day of the marketing campaign happens to be Bob Dylan's "Jokerman." Dylan, if one may recall, shunned major record labels and signed up with Starbucks' Hear Music label back in 2005. Other individuals on the caffeine bandwagon include Joni Mitchell, John Mayer, Paul McCartney, Annie Lennox, and Dave Matthews.
ETC Rat Be Nimble
After a rash of several attacks in the Lakeview neighborhood, a group of local women have created the White Women Empowered Against Thunderstorms Harming Emotional Reconciliation (WWEATHER) organization. Torrential rains have made this the second-wettest August on record, with at least one more week of inclement weather to go. To date, the Chicago area has received nearly 12" of rain, with some spots seeing up to a half-foot more of precipitation.

WWEATHER, an upstart group organized by Melanie Langston, 25, is to bring attention to the plight of the disenfranchised minority of caucasian females who have been brutally oppressed by the mainstream meteorological media. Langston was livid by the lack of attention that was not placed in the spotlight of her six-meter universe. "It's a shame in this day and age that we cannot walk on our own streets without getting savagely attacked by the elements," Langston said in a phone interview. "I felt it was my calling to unite caucasian women against the environmental dangers in Chicago."

Many other local residents have felt the insidious pinch from Mother Nature. Chelsea Brenner, 22, formerly of Midlothian, was irate at the inclement weather transpiring Thursday afternoon. "It totally ruined my night! I was going to go to a gay bar by myself but now my new shoes are ruined! I can't go out in public like that." This August has resulted in phenomenally-humid days fraying the nerves of local residents.

A ridge of high pressure is causing much of the thunderstorm activity in the Midwest by not allowing frontal systems to advance normally. After the remnants of tropical storm Erin moved from Oklahoma to the Midwest, a stalled frontal system has continued to contribute to the weather woes. Jessica Trevias, who moved to the area from her parents' home in Wisconsin, was visibly shaken by the recent news. "Stalled frontal system? That sucks! I wish these nightclubs would open up their back doors instead. We were never concerned about this stuff back home. My parents shouldn't have to pay $2000 for my one-bedroom apartment with these icky conditions. I'm ready to move back to Milwaukee where we don't have to worry about this."

The deluge of rain has resulted in a flood of phone calls to the city's 311 non-emergency system. Heather Schmitt, 24, placed one of these calls earlier in the week after getting a $120 perm at Carissima. In obtained transcripts, the Rockford native was visibly shaken. "My curls are ravaged! I don't know what to do. I don't have any more vacation days and the rain has caused my hair to friz!"

Police are warning citizens to remain vigilant and keep their windows shut during this terrible time. Authorities are requesting residents to remain calm and to avoid any treacherous weather by taking a cab or ride with a friend or relative. If any white woman is to be outside by herself, she is strongly advised to be armed with an umbrella.
24th-Apr-2007 07:13 pm - Holy Smokes, Batman!
ETC Rat Be Nimble
The new installment of the 'Batman' franchise, "The Dark Knight," is being filmed on location in Chicago. As a result, there has been various street closures in the area, making the vicinity inaccessible to commuters or employees in the nearby buildings. The old, abandoned branch of the USPS has been renovated into a scene for the Gotham National Bank. There has been a prolonged sequence of some sort of catastrophe involving a school bus crashing through a wall, while several others file down the streets of Chicago Gotham City.

Anyway, there were disruptions to the filming schedule today, due to a rubbish fire in the building's ventilation system. While Bruce Wayne was not available, Peter Parker could easily fill in with photos of the fire. Initially, it was thought to be part of the film set but soon it was discovered that the fire was real. In a clash of two different worlds, Gotham City's ERTs come face to face with Chicago's very own.

More photos may be found here.

The film is currently under a fake name, "Rory's First Kiss" (Rory being the name of director Christopher Nolan's son). Most everybody knew that it was the new 'Batman' film, starring Christian Bale as Bruce Wayne and Heath Ledger, who will be playing The Joker. This holds especially true when you see "GOTHAM NATIONAL BANK" splayed across a building that has been vacant for a decade. Of course, after today's events, the fake name of the film should be "Rory's First Flame."

Gotham City Bank

School Bus Crash

Aerial Copter Shots

Gotham City Traffic

Prepping the bus crash

Gotham Police

Start of Smoke

Not part of the scene

Fire breaking through the roof

Sears Tower Obscura

Gotham ERT versus Chicago ERT

Fire Department Response

Emergency Response preparations

CFD creates ventilation

Circumstances under control

Images uploaded by whereinchicago
31st-Mar-2007 09:13 am - More Bella for Your Buck
ETC Rat Be Nimble
SexyBella wants youSomewhere on the Internet, a dishwater blonde chick with pigtails is making lewd gestures with her hands, as she strips in front of her webcam. She wants you. She's ready and eager for your devotion and will even show you her ass wrapped in a lime-green thong.

Sometimes she goes by the name of SexyBella. She's also known as HunnyBunzz, SeXXXie, LilBratt, sexycandy, juicybella, Gurleee, Chickeee, and a whole bunch of other nauseatingly cliché names. On some hours, she's living in Atlanta, also in Indianapolis, Fort Worth, or just anywhere in the States. Sometimes she's 22 and other times she's a ripe, old 26.

It doesn't matter. She wants you. You and only you! Add her to your MySpace or send her a message on MSN. SexyBella/Gurlee/Chickee will warn you to not message her on AIM, since it freezes up her computer -- although still willing to give out her handle. You'll be able to contact her, since she has hundreds of MySpace and MSN accounts.

Of course, we're all aware that she's a fake. No doubt that the photos are of some real chick, who certainly isn't seeing the residuals from any of the exploitation. She will never profit from this and will have to scrape by in her parents' house in order to buy more black nail polish.

While SPAM has not been a new concept for the MySpace domain, spammers have been taking it to a new level lately. Users not utilizing the privacy options for contacts will receive at least a dozen SPAM messages a day and just as many friend requests. In the case of SexyBella/Gurlee/Chickee, a user will receive a link to her generic profile with the following fodder:

Im a pretty outgoing, fun loving kinda person! IM always up for drinks with friends or chilling with a hot guy and cuddling watching a movie. If you kiss my neck it will drive me absolutely crazy. The most important things to me in life are friends, family, andmy health. But after that, Im a girl and I need to get some play once in a while lol. I get turned on REALLY easily especially fi u kiss my neck and talk to me in a whisper voice while you do it

Things that drive me nuts are, soft kisses, pinching my bum, licking my nipples, talking durty to me, play fighting, and basicly alot more if im into the guy! Im just a wild gurly at heart lol! Im looking for a nice sexy guy who has what it takes to keep me interested and wants to explore me like i want to explore him.Im not that picky but I do know what I want.Looks are not everything so I give everyone an equal chance!

SexyBella wants youIf one ran a spellcheck on that, the document application would most likely encounter a fatal error and shut down. Of course, that doesn't matter to guys who are looking for "a wild gurly at heart" because SexyBella/Gurlee/Chickee gets "turned on REALLY easily." Wow, if she didn't use CAPS-LOCK on really, somebody might not add her to their friend list.

And, of course, there are fools out there that do add these fake spambots to their profiles. Why? Other than being young, horny, idiotic males, it is based on the concept of not who you know but how many friends you have. MySpace: Social Darwinism where the person with the most friends wins the Internets.

The world hasn't ended because there are spammers on MySpace. The concept of the entire site is a gigantic marketing vehicle. There are already numerous ads on the site that promote new films, bands, television series, books, et al. And this doesn't include targeted marketing through the adfarms that spill demographic-specific solicitations for dating sites, home loan refinancing, clothing, free ringtones, and other stuff. However, even MySpace has gotten to the point of complaint by recently filing a lawsuit against Sanford Wallace, who is better known as the King of Spam. News Corp, which owns MySpace, doesn't appreciate that there are individuals not on the FOX payroll that are phishing or spamming comments for their own personal profit. MySpace accuses Wallace of setting up thousands of dummy profiles which redirect users to premium sites, a violation of their Terms of Service.

Wallace, nicknamed "Spamford" by many circles, is quite familiar with lawsuits. He headed Cyber Promotions, sending millions of unsolicited commercial e-mails to consumers on a daily basis. In 2004, the Federal Trade Commission sued him for infecting computers with spyware. MySpace's complaint is that Spamford has violated the 2003 U.S. Can-Spam Act, which prohibits unsolicited mailings.

The adult webcam market is one of the biggest profit performers on the Internet. Easily put: Sex sells. Video may have killed the radio star, but the Internet has driven the sex phone hotline industry into the crapper. Why pick up a phone when your Visa card could get more bang for its buck with visual eye candy?

Of course it's more than obvious that MySpace is more of a marketing tool under the guise of a social networking site. It can promote grass roots campaigns, bands, performers, celebrities, and other personas. There is much more content to the site, but the obvious is a central repository for exposure. There are individuals who support Spamford because they advocate a free market system and entrepreneurism. One may argue that users are wrongfully targeted for solicitations, particularly minors. On the MySpace site, one may modify their age to whatever they see fit, which will fine-tune the marketing they receive. If parents and child advocacy groups want to complain about illicit material, the parents should take a vested interest in their child's online activities.

In the meantime, SexyBella/Gurlee/Chickee will be looking for a guy to pinch her bum. After all, as she states, looks aren't everything and is willing to give everybody an equal chance. Get your credit cards out.
ETC Rat Be Nimble
Indeed, Boystowners received the Extreme Makeover® and is still prospering on the Internets.

And no need to hear "We're here, we're queer" because none of us shop at the Pottery Barn™.
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