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There are many hidden dangers encountered by falling asleep with the television on. Such circumstances are especially true with Comedy Central and the wee predawn hours with a post-4:00 a.m. television conversation: "I just don't feel perfect," a voice on a phone states with hesitation. "I feel tired. I feel like something is missing. Do you think this product could help me?"
"Gary, let me ask you a question: Do you have kids?" interjects another voice.
"Yes," replies the first voice.
"Are your bowel movements the same size and length as theirs are?" states the second voice.
"Absolutely not!" barks the caller in horror. WHAT THE FUCK?!? As it was Comedy Central, one would surmise that this was a repeat episode of 'Mad TV,' especially with eyes attempting to focus on this guy, Klee, who resembled John Waters. Two men having a conversation about bowel movements; this has to be comedy, right? Comedy, yes. But a television show? No. It was an infomercial for Dual Action Cleanse with a panel 'expert' by the name of Klee Irwin attempting to sell you an at-home enema kit. One does not need to see or hear this shit -- shit, literally! -- at 4:00 a.m. or any hour of the day. This was just so wrong on so many levels:
Tags: insanity, marketing, products, randomness, television
Ruling Propensity:  sleepy
Current Distraction: WBBM-AM
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 Check this novel out. Drew Ferguson, quite the talented individual, will be releasing his book, The Screwed-Up Life of Charlie the Second come 26-AUG 2008. The snarky son-of-a-bitch used to teach Fiction Writing courses at Columbia College. He certainly possesses a knack for having his students press themselves beyond their potential to elicit their own voice on paper. As for the novel, the spoonfed summary can provide some insight upon content: Tall, gangly and big-eared, he could be the poster boy for teenage geeks. An embarrassment to his parents (he's not to crazy about them, either), Charlie is a virtual untouchable at his school, where humiliation is practically an extra curricular activity. Charlie has tried to fit in, but all of his efforts fall on a glorious, monumental scale. He plays soccer--mainly to escape his home life--but isn't accepted by his teammates who basically ignore him on the field. He still confuses the accelerator with the brake pedal and has failed his driving exam six times. He can't work on his college application essay without writing a searing tell-all. But what's freaking Charlie out the most is that while his hormones are raging and his peers are pairing off, he remains alone with his fantasies.
But all of this is about to change when a new guy at school begins to liven things up on the soccer team--and in Charlie's life. For the first time in his seventeen years, Charlie will learn how it feels to be a star, at least off the field. But Charlie discovers that even cool guys have problems as he embarks on an unforgettable, risk-filled journey from which there is no turning back.... Ferguson has been previously featured in The James White Review, The Great Lawn, Blithe House Quarterly, and Hair Trigger. He received his MFA in Creative Writing from Columbia College Chicago, which was the same educational facility he once bestowed his vast knowledge and technique upon an impressionable student body. Still a resident of the city, his image may be found on the side of a milk carton in your local dairy case. Tags: books, chicago, culture, marketing, randomness
Ruling Propensity: okay
Current Distraction: "Vienna Pool" -- Linda Eder
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